October vent month.
I’ve been working as a graphic designer for the past year and a half, professionally. I’ve come 24 years to get to this position, yet it feels empty. Through those years in education, I’ve contemplated on whether this was the right path for me to go into. I always had doubts. I always leaned on my mom for advice and she helped me understand that this is just one career out of many I can choose from that I can pursue. I am now nine months into my second graphic designer job and I don’t feel happy. Working as a in-house designer at a small, family-owned business feels lonely as there’s only one other co-worker in my office. I’m thankful to have a job, but everyday I always, always think to myself, “I hate my job. I want to go into something else.”
What would that be? I don’t know. I’ll admit, I don’t have a friends where I live so that may be a huge factor into why I’m not happy. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, maybe lonely and unmotivated. Writing this blog sort of helps me out in a way. It’s my medicine. Whoever is reading this, don’t worry – I would never hurt myself. If I had any thought of hurting myself I’d go straight to my mom and tell her about my worries and demand to see a therapist. Also, to remind me that God is in control of my life. He can help. He believes that I can overcome this fork in the road in my life.
I know that I won’t work at my job for long term. I just can’t. My boss is too much to handled in terms of organization, communication, and difference in design ideas. She might very well made me realized how much I hate working there.
I don’t know. We’ll see how the new year plays out. I miss living in L.A.